Sunday, May 28, 2006

Retirees

I hope this will put a smile on some faces.
 
   Retirees: The Whole Truth, Nothing But... 

 Question: How many days in a week?
 Answer: Seven, of course - 6 Saturdays, and 1 Sunday

Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.
 Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all
day.

 Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
 Answer: The term comes with a 10% percent discount

Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
 Answer: Tied shoes.
      
Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
 Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.

 Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys
work  and refuses to retire?
 Answer: NUTS!

 Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or
                garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their 
adult kids will want to store stuff there.

 Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
 Answer: Normal.

 Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.
        
 Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to
school  as a retiree?
 Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.
 Question: How many days in a week?
 Answer: Seven, of course - 6 Saturdays, and 1 Sunday
 Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.
 Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
 Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.
 Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
 Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

 Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
 Answer: The term comes with a 10% percent discount
 Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
 Answer: Tied shoes.
 Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
 Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.

Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work
and refuses to retire?
 Answer: NUTS!
Try for at least a chuckle.
Steve

3 comments:

winnie3ave MSN said...


Steve. Amen to the retirees Q&A. How true they are. I retired early to stay home with my daughter and grandkids. I am going to say it was one of the best times of my life. I got to know my daughter a lot better, and also got to know my grandkids as little people, and not just grandkids. My daughter, her husband, and both of the grandkids (They are now 9, boy, and 8, girl, years old). I regretted the day they moved out. But to this day, we have a very special bond, and these kids want to be over here all the time. That is just ONE of the reasons I feel so blessed in this life. Winston Allison

redmond2349 MSN said...

Winston  glad to hear. Steve

biking2006 MSN said...


And They Ask Why I Like Retirement !

Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.

Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 10% percent discount.

Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.

Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.

Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and
refuses to retire?
Answer: NUTS!

Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement,
attic or garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids
will want to store stuff there.

Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: Normal .

Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.

Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a
retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but
misses the people he used to work with?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

Question: What do you do all week?
Answer: Mon to Fri. Nothing, Sat & Sun I rest.