Monday, March 13, 2006

Political Correctness









From: Mike


To: Christine


Subject: Fw: Political Correctness
Date: Thu, 09 Mar 2006 10:16:17 -0800






 


Subject: Fw: Political Correctness



Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America,
Kentuckians, Tennesseans and
West Virginians will no longer be referred to as "HILLBILLIES."





You must now refer to us as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

 And furthermore ....


 HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:


 1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."


 2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY
APPRECIATIVE."


 3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."


 4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."


 5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."


 6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."


 7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY
INCONVENIENCED"


 8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."


 9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."


 10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."


 11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."


 12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."


 HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:


 1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."


 2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."


 3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."


 4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."


 5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."


 6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."


 7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of
RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."


 8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."


 9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."


 10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."


 11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR
CLEAVAGE






3 comments:

redmond1949 MSN said...

Tina.............You hit the nail on the head. Steve

mags MSN said...

Welcome back to cyberspace sis!

tinytina19581 MSN said...

Thanks Sis
  Hope you enjoyed that one. and that others did also.
                                      Tiny Tina